Sometimes, Life....

Sometimes life just won't let you live.

I feel kind of like Woody Allen's character in Love and Death, where he recounts the woes of his life, concluding with a small sore on the inside of his lower lip.

** My grandfather has colon cancer, and it has metastasized.

** Another family member is an alcoholic, and we're reaching the limit of what we can do for him.

** And I do in fact have a nasty spot on the inside of my mouth.

Wounds on thge inside of the mouth actually heal faster than damage to the skin. But it sure doesn't seem that way when you have one.

I bit the inside of my right cheek the other day, and it hurt so badly that I couldn't take solid food for three days.

Oh, well. I'm trying to lose weight anyway.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "This is not a good week to go crazy. Try to postpone that and other recreational activities."\\

She Plays One On Radio

This morning I was spinning the radio dial and came upon Laura Schlessinger's radio show. Gee, she's still out there? Sure enough.

And still calling herself "Dr. Laura" to give herself a folksy air of authority (interestingly, she really does have a doctorate...in physiology).

She was reading something which she said was a fax from a gay male listener who gushed over her "moral values" and just happened to mention how a few years back she had suddenly dropped her savage vendetta against gay men (but only in order to focus on the problems of "traditional families", of course), and observed on the funny coincidence that her sudden change of format came at just the time that a massive national boycott of her show (which she herself at the time called "financially devastating") was peaking.

She closed this reading with the writer asking her not to use his name, lest his tires be slashed by gay civil rights activists.

Now, for all I know, she really did read all of that off a fax sent to her by a real listener, who might even be gay. But the combination of fawning adulation with an extremely convenient recitation of the Schlessinger version of the spanking she got from the gay community leads me to accuse her of sock puppetry.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You, on the other hand, only put your words into the mouth of an inanimate object...that doesn't even have a mouth."\\

Roof Torn Off -- But That's Okay By Us

Noty as hot today as it had been, yet this was the day that I decided to turn pale, with a racing pulse and a profoundly sick feeling. Who knows what it was? Oh, well.

In between periods of lying down, I pulled some more roofing nails from the broken shingles Jake had been showering down on the tarp on the lawn.

Seeing the roof with its skin off reminded me of earlier projects in and around the house, and of schemes I devised over the years for restoring houses without having to restore them. My personal favorite is enclosing the entire house in a geodesic dome or in a zome. That way, not only do you not have to worry about the leaky roof, you can even tear the whole roof off and have a sun deck. Well, just a thought.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "A house is a machine for keeping your books dry."\\

You Mean, Kill A Person? Deliberately? That's Barbaric!

We have been warned for years that international treaties regarding war crimes, torture and the treatment of POWs might one day resulty in American service members being tried in foreign courts, where any war crimes they commit would be treated as though they were war crimes.

Now, Bush Administration officials have discovered that the War Crimes Act of 1996 obliges the U.S. government to respond to (some) violations of the Geneva Convention as though they were violations of the Geneva Convention.

Some persons charged under it might even be in danger of the death penalty, which they would not face in most foreign courts.

Is there no end to such insanity?

Well, probably. Legislation is now being written creating exemptions for, well, everybody.

But the law itself will not be repealed, because the USA takes war crimes very seriously.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You should see how serious Dick Cheney's face looks right now."\\

Free Choice Does In Fact Save Lives.

FreeChoiceSavesLives.org has sent me an e-mail asking me to ask my representatives in Congress to provide students with complete and accurate birth control and prophylactic information. I think that's a good idea, don't you?

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "I do."\\

Liberal Outrage

Silly liberals. So angry all the time.

And over the silliest little things.

Like people who have lost everything else, now being deprived of the most basic human rights.

Stuff like that.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "At times, the highest expression of love is attack."\\

Things People Send Me

It's hot. Soooo hot. Too hot to climb up to the lookout, even if there might be a breeze up there. Can't believe that Kathe's son Jake is willing to go out on the roof and do shingling when it's so hot. Still, this is the week when he's here....

It's so hot that the rats, in their cage in the living room, are lying around separately, not in one big pile.

And on a day like this, what are people doing? Sending me the darnedest things in my e-mail, that's what.

The Nose Museum.

The Sasquatch Militia.

Forgotten Heroes.

In other words, all kinds of stuff.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You will receive mail from a friend."\\

One Small Step

[Recycled from 20 July 2005]

It happened.

For all the horror and stupidity that came before and since, I will spend this day remembering that we managed to do it once.

And we will do it again, and make it mean something.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Yes."\\

George, Meet Veto

Mr. President*:

Congratulations on discovering the existence of the veto. I hope you will come to have a beneficial relationship with it, and that it will come to take tyhe place of your imaginary friend, the signing statement.

In a few days, if they have any gumption at all, Congress will soon introduce you to another new friend, called "override". Have fun.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "By the way, you can't veto articles of impeachment."\\

Mickey Spillane

He died.

So, I guess it's really true: Nobody is too tough to die.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Grrrr."\\

"...with a chance of bugs."

More likely a certainty of them, depending on where you fly in connection with the storm. Gee, lots of bugs, all right.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Bzzzzzz."\

Da Vinci Days, 2006

Everything was smaller than last year (which was smaller than the year before that...), with the exception of the sidewalk chalk art, which continues to spread further and further from its origins on Madison Avenue above the Art Center.

This year, I finally did the thing I'd been saying for years I would: do my own sidewalk art in front of the house. With black tempera and a roller, I painted a narrow strip on the edges of the sidewalk in front of the house, on the Jefferson side. Then, up one side and down the other, I used an assortment of brighly-colored oil pastels to write "...and God said," [insert Newton's formula for light here] "...and there was light."* I interrupted the formulae to add my favorite (and most relevant) quote from da Vinci, "Mathematics is the alphabet in which God has written the universe."

I liked it well enough that I'm already thinking about next year. I think a border on the sidewalk again, maybe a selection of quotations, or a poem.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "I notice that you've actually linked to a site where 'God said' Maxwell's Wave Equation 'and there was light'."\
\\John says, "I couldn't find a link to the site where I first downloaded the page of Newton's formulae."//

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "By the way, it's pretty dark in here. Could you spring for some LEDs?"\\

Still An Issue, For Some Reason

Should rape survivors be guaranteed access to emergency contraception?

Good grief, why is this even an issue?

But since it is, make sure your representatives in Congress are on the right side of it.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Don't be evil."\\

Well, *I* Noticed

...that The Lion King was a remake of Kimba the White Lion.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You are not the only one to feel that way."\\

Vegetables

Vegetables

“just because they can’t say anything
doesn’t mean they don’t hear you coming”;
tomatoes in particular feel pain
thin girlish skin and
seeds quaking in jelly at the first prick
and carrots, shrieking silent
like St. Bartholomew as you peel them
from foot to head: they feel,

they feel. Disemboweled peas

slide into tunbrils, dizzy
with air, beets bleed on the
sinkboard, celery wilts with its heart
in our hands, squash
turns pale on our tables
and when you pick up the knife
and walk across the kitchen, shoeheels softly drumming
even the coarse hydra-headed potato hears you humming

Peter Meinke

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "The situation is more complicated than you suppose."

Conservatives Starting to Act Conservative?

Maybe.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Then again, maybe not."\\

Weighing In, July 2006

Well, according to the scale I just stepped on, I now weigh 224 pounds, down ten int he first month.

I suspect that's not accurate -- I don't feel as though I've lost ten pounds, and my clotheds don't seem to fit any differently. I don't remember whether I was clothed or naked for ht elast weigh-in, nor which scale I used.

Oh, well, it'll all average out.

On a couple of much weightier topics,

here's Kate Michelman's personal story of what stem cells mean to her and her family.

and here's a petition to sign to urge your representatives in Congress (remember? the old-time legislative branch, that passed laws before signing statements were invented?) to endorse access to birth control.

//The Magic Eight-ball says, "Focus on what's important."\\

This Is My Flag

(Recycled from 10 September 2004)[Recycled again from 12 February 2005] [and again from 10 December 2005]

Yes, it's true, I brought a U.S. flag to the nightly war protest, and it was to join in, not to "counter-protest".

The question is not, why did I bring our flag to the rally. The question is, why do you seem to think it belongs to the pro-war people?

Why didn't any of you bring a flag? Yes, the Earth-from-space photographic flag is nice, and so is the UN flag, and the rainbow PACE flag, but what about OUR flag?

Is this flag born in a leftist revolution against colonialism, the flag that smashed fascism and freed the slaves, not good enough for you?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't forget your roots".\\

This is My Country

For the first time in several years, I had the night of the 4th off, and could watch the fireworks with Kathe. In the intervening years, Kathe has found a good place for watching the show, on Monroe Avenue between 9th and 10th. Ten blocks from the riverfront, where thousands gather, but close enough to get a good view, with the added benefit of being well-placed to catch the echoes coming back toward the river.

Two things I've seen online touch my heart this 4th of July. One was an abominable caricature of the Statue of Liberty, holding a cross instead of a torch, erected by the World Overcomers Outreach Ministries Church in Memphis, Tennessee.

It's hard to put into words my revulsion at the sight of that blasphemous statue. To replace the Torch of Liberty, enlightening the world with no exceptions, with a cross, barring the door to all but the religiously correct, is simply obscene.

The other thing is something vastly better: an essay by Saoba (from a link posted by Supergee) on why she damn well does celebrate the Fourth, no matter what kind of incompetent louse happens to be President.

Thank you, Saoba. You do my heart good. You make me feel as though maybe this experiment we are living in has not yet failed completely.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Answer not yet clear."\\

Letter From Palestine

Pass it on:

http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article13824.htm

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You will shortly receive an important letter."\\

So What if Roe v. Wade Were Overturned?

What's the worst that could happen?

Oh.

//The Magic Eight Ball says, "Don't ask questions if you don't want to hear the answer."\\

The Kitten of Doom

1) Or is it the doom of kitten?

2) Kathe sent me this important message: Pssst! Bush is listening. Use big words.

3) Jake sent this:
http://www.media.ebaumsworld.com/swf/supercoolpic.swf
a way cool "zooming" picture.

4) Kathe and I found this book at a friend's house, and now we want one: Giraffes? Giraffes!

5) Kathe sent me this tasty item: Cthocolate.

6) Kathe is also the source for this: http://draftgore2008.org/node/143

7) Kathe also advised me of a plan for a thirty-meter telescope: http://www.tmt.org/ Thirty meters, huh? Guess that's pretty long, all right.... Oh. Thirty meters wide.

8) Also worthy of note: Jin Wicked's comic strip "Crap I Drew on My Lunch Break http://crap.jinwicked.com/?comic=302
, which makes me wish I was eating what Jin is eating.

9) I'de heard of The Meaning of Liff when it first came out, but never guessed that it had become a website until Kathe tipped me off: http://folk.uio.no/alied/TMoL.html


10) Finally, a plug for the Countess' soaps, which we are hoping to market for her in Corvallis: http://trishwilson.typepad.com/blog/2006/06/an_update_on_ou.html


//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "This is not the question you should be asking."\\